Reasons
by Symphony In Blue
Summary: Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't realise it right away. A bit of angst, but not too much, and a bit of Eleven/River fluff at the end.


_A/N: I imagine this storyline starting off when River is in her mid 20s, and ending when she's in her early 30s. It starts off angsty, I know, but there's a tinge of hope at the end which I hope will be appreciated._

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><p><strong>Reasons<br>**

The idea has never so much as crossed her mind. Firstly because she didn't think it would be possible, and secondly because she had no idea if she would ever want this. So when she is suddenly confronted with the issue she is quite taken aback by it, and isn't sure of what she should do. She considers all of her options, thinks through all the possibilities carefully, but still she cannot seem to reach a conclusion.

She knows this will change both their lives forever, but hers most of all. Their timelines are back to front, they travel in ellipses, never meeting in the right order. She never knows where or when she'll meet him next, and which version of him she'll encounter. This is what makes the situation even more impossible and unthinkable than it would normally be. But there is something, a feeling, a hunch, call it whatever you will, and she can't quite put her finger on what it is. All she knows is that it's giving her..what exactly? Hope? She is not sure, but she feels that this impossible thing happened for a reason, and that she at least owes it to herself, and to _him_, to give it a chance.

So she allows it to grow inside her, and with each day that passes she notices a different change in her body to accommodate the new life blossoming within. She still has not seen him yet, but she is sure that if he were there, he'd marvel at the changes to her physique just as much as she does.

When she first starts to feel the pain she tries to breathe through it, and convince herself that it's nothing. She needs some kind of distraction, she just needs to focus, and then surely it will soon go away again.

Only it doesn't go away, it just gets worse, until there's no denying the fact that something is wrong. She keeps telling herself that she's stronger than this, and tries to block out the pain, but in the end she crumples to the floor and sobs quietly as she feels her body expel the life that was never even allowed a chance. River Song never cries, but after this it takes five days before she is all cried out.

Eventually she manages to more or less pull herself together again, and she goes over her options rather matter-of-factly. In the end she decides that she will not tell him when she next sees him. Why add to someone's pain and loss in retrospect, when there's nothing anyone could have done to prevent it from happening? He has lived for so long, and he carries the weight of most of the universe on his shoulders. He has experienced so much sadness and loss in his long life, and she won't add to that unless it's strictly necessary.

So at their next meeting not long after she puts on a brave face, smiles and greets him with a "hello sweetie", and off they go on another thrilling adventure. It isn't for another couple of years before their meetings start to become more frequent and more chronological, until they reach the middle point where they live and travel almost exactly linear.

At that time he is not travelling with anyone else, so she remains in the TARDIS and becomes his full-time companion. They both know it won't last forever, so they make the most of their time and enjoy every precious second of it. They live, love, and laugh together, criss-crossing the universe, never leaving one another's side. They get a rare glimpse into what could have been, _would _have been, hadn't their timelines been so muddled up.

He takes her picnicking at Asgard and there he asks her to be his wife. She says yes without a moment's hesitation and they both laugh, and kiss, and neither can imagine a time when they felt happier. Not wanting to waste a second of their perfect synchronicity, they decide to get married that very same day and, being a Timelord and partial Timelady, it isn't too difficult to arrange. They collect Amy and Rory and set off to the Gamma Forest, where they exchange their vows in the most idyllic setting imaginable.

And soon they are off again, but this time as man and wife, the eternal bond that can never be broken, no matter where and when they are in the whole of time and space.

He is fixing something beneath the TARDIS' console a few months later when she walks up to him and hands him the unassuming white object. He stares at it, unsure if it's some kind of new screwdriver, or something else entirely that he is not familiar with. She rolls her eyes as she once again realises that, though he may look exactly like a human being, he really is an alien, and therefore often oblivious to the most common of earthly attributes.

When she explains to him, hesitantly, what it means, his eyes widen in shock for a moment and her heart sinks. But soon the looks of shock is replaced by the biggest possible grin, and he envelops her in his arms, kissing her and telling her how much he loves her. She is momentarily reminded about last time, stricken by the same doubts and fears she experienced then. But she soon casts them off as irrational thoughts. Because something deep down inside is telling her that nothing will go wrong this time. She knows, and she's sure of it, because the universe has its reasons. Always.

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